Have you experienced conflict with your spouse around the topic of money in your marriage? 🙋♀️
Research shows finances are the most frequent and unresolved conflict facing most couples. 😱
As doom and gloom with the economy fills the headlines, chances are your relationship has felt some disconnection around this issue.
I know how hard this conflict can be!
I’m here today to tell you that you can turn this heated topic into a beautiful tension that connects you!
In the past, money conversations with my husband always have resulted in conflict that left us both feeling defeated and lonely. Many date nights, weekends, and vacations have been ruined because of our different view points on finances.
As we began to work through this issue, there were 3 things that allowed us to move from defensiveness to connection.
1. We had to see each other as a partner, not the problem.
When we view our spouse as the problem, generally the issue of finances turns into a battle to be won. I often saw my husband as the enemy to meeting my financial goals. As I worked to see him as a partner, and not the problem, life producing conversations around the topic of money began.
2. Honor one another’s ideas
As they often say: opposites attract. It’s very likely you and your spouse have different views on things like spending, investing, saving, and budgeting.
It is easy to believe your way is better, and that mindset only blocks partnership and connection.
Get curious and begin to ask your spouse questions about their ideas. And as you get curious and continue focus on your own attitudes and contributions to the issue, you will grow to appreciate each other’s ideas. It is likely your spouse sees options and possibilities you don’t.
3. Seek to understand what you don’t understand
Everyone has their own belief system around money that likely began when they were a child.
These beliefs revolve around things like:
- how easy or difficult money is to get.
- if debt is good or bad
- your capabilities with money
- how much money is too little and too much.
Most conflict around money is simply two opposing beliefs. When you work to really understand yourself and your beliefs, you are able to better communicate with your spouse and vice versa. The more you seek to understand each other, the better your conversation will get around this topic.
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