Do you want to understand your husband? There is a book titled, “Men Are from Mars and Women and from Venus,” and this often feels very true when it comes to understanding and communicating with your spouse. It’s no wonder that many women have trouble understanding their husbands (and vice versa) when we are created and operate so differently.
Misunderstanding your spouse can lead to a lot of confusion, hurt, and ultimately disconnection, and none of us want that with the one we love and have committed our life to!
Over 32 years of marriage and thousands of hours coaching husbands, I gained six insights that I discovered about men that I wish I had known sooner.
THE SIX INSIGHTS
1. Men are simple
This is not a dig at husbands, but generally, men are simple. We as women tend to think more intricately and complicatedly. It can be really helpful to communicate in a way that works better for the way they are wired to think and operate.
2. Men want to know you are pleased with them
Men have this innate desire to know that they are enough, especially enough for the ones they love. It is amazing how a few choice words from me encourages my husband as I appreciate him and affirm who he is to me.
3. Men want to satisfy you
Remember, your husband married you because he loves you. He actually wants to make you happy and ultimately be your hero. Sometimes they just aren’t clear about how to do that.
4. Men feel useful when they solve problems
I would get irritated with my husband when he jumped into “Fix-it” mode. All I wanted was for him to just listen to my thoughts and feelings. When I realized that him trying to fix my problems was a way that he was trying to love me, it shifted my irritation to appreciation. It put me take more responsibility to communicate when I just needed a listening ear.
5. Men prefer clear communication
I am a verbal processor. My husband is not. I prefer long and detailed. He prefers short and simple. I have realized that when something is going on for me, it’s helpful for me to process elsewhere (journaling, friend, etc.) and then when I am able to bring the cliff notes to my husband, he is able to understand the issue at hand better. This allows him to be so much more connected and invested and able to help me navigate my situation more efficiently. This has been a game-changer!
6. Men process information differently than women
Did you know that (generally speaking) men are more analytical and logical than women, and women tend to be more intuitive and integrated?
I used to get frustrated at how my husband approached our conversations so logically (and at a slower pace than my brain), but when I learned and realized the value of logical thinking and how he caught more details when taking the time to really look at a situation, I realized how powerful both of our ways of processing information were together!
Realizing these insights helped me understand my own husband (and be understood!) and allowed me to see and appreciate the gift that his differences are to me and our marriage.
If you want to hear me share more about each insight as well as a real-life example of when me and my husband were totally missing each other, I encourage you to join me on today’s episode entitled, “Mastering the Art of Understanding Your Husband: Proven Techniques.”
When we can see and understand each other, the deeper the connection we have.
Wives – Do you agree or disagree with the insights based on your own experience and observations?
Husbands – Do these 6 insights resonate with you?
Leave a comment on my YouTube video – I’d love to hear what you think!
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