Have you thought to consider that there are ways that you are not loving your spouse? What a massive consideration!! When was the last time you thought about whether you truly love your spouse by looking for these 5 signs? It’s easy to believe that love is always present, but sometimes, we need to take a step back and evaluate the impact of our choices.

The 5 Signs You Aren’t Loving Your Spouse

1. Avoiding Honest Conversations: Have you ever found yourself saying what your spouse wants to hear instead of expressing your true feelings? It’s a slippery slope that leads to the erosion of trust and genuine connection. Fighting for honest and open conversations is the key to building a solid foundation that withstands the test of time.
2. Keeping Secrets: Secrets are like little cracks in the foundation of your marriage. Whether it’s financial decisions, hidden plans, or even subtle attractions, keeping secrets is a form of betrayal that can slowly poison the well of intimacy. It took me a while to realize the impact of my own secrets, but acknowledging them was the first step towards healing and true love.
3. Unreconciled Conflicts: Arguments happen, and it’s easy to give in to the temptation of explosive reactions or shutting down. However, failing to reconcile conflicts builds bitterness and resentment, gradually tearing down the walls of your relationship. Focusing on taking responsibility and seeking forgiveness is essential to strengthen your connection.
4. Ignoring Bids for Attention: In the dance of marriage, we constantly send out bids for attention, affirmation, and affection. When these bids are ignored, it’s a sign that the connection is weakening. John Gottman’s research highlights the importance of responding to each other’s bids, and it’s a valuable barometer for the health of your relationship.
5. Rolling Your Eyes: Contempt is a silent killer of love. Rolling your eyes at your spouse shows internal contempt rooted in bitterness and judgment. Learning to keep our hearts free from contempt is crucial for maintaining a loving connection.

As you reflect on these signs and may see these in yourself, remember that growth is a natural part of being human. Loving your spouse is an ongoing journey that calls for selflessness and continuous self-reflection. Instead of dwelling in shame or guilt, embrace the opportunity for growth that marriage provides.

Listen In!

Now, if you’re hungry for more insights on building a deeper connection with your spouse, I invite you to watch the podcast episode on this topic. In the episode, we explore these signs in greater detail and share practical tips for fostering genuine love and connection.

Listen HERE!

And here’s a little gift for our amazing listeners – The Connection Playbook, available for just $49. This playbook is a game-changer for communication during conflicts, helping you transform challenges into opportunities for connection. Click the link in the show notes to grab your copy now.

Remember, the journey to true love is beautiful, and every step you take toward understanding and loving your spouse brings you closer to a more fulfilling relationship. Happy listening and happy loving!

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