December has a way of pressing every tender spot at once. The deadlines, the travel, the family expectations, the resurfacing grief, it all collides under the glow of festive lights. And when we’re stretched thin, it’s our relationships that absorb the impact. Suddenly, small slights feel personal, old patterns flare up, and our inner script becomes a relentless loop of have-to, have-to, have-to.

But the way out isn’t doing more; it’s becoming more emotionally mature. That means telling the truth about what we feel, what we’re thinking, and what we actually need. And while that may sound lofty, it begins with something surprisingly simple: language. In the latest episode of my podcast, Hey Julia Woods, I break down how shifting just a few words can shift your whole holiday experience from resentment to agency, from pressure to peace.

One client’s story illustrates this beautifully. She came into December exhausted, convinced Christmas had become a burden she couldn’t escape. When she paused long enough to name her emotions; sadness, loneliness, dread, she discovered the thoughts attached to them: Christmas hurts. I have to do everything. Underneath it all was an ungrieved loss from five years earlier. Once she gave herself space to feel and name her truth, everything changed. Replacing “I have to” with “I choose to,” “I choose not to,” or “I choose differently” restored her agency. And with agency, new options appeared: simplify, delegate, renegotiate, breathe.

The episode also unpacks the three-list exercise; an incredibly grounding tool. List every holiday task weighing on you. Sort them into what you truly want to do and what you don’t. Then create a final choose-to list that reflects your real capacity. If wrapping gifts fills your cup, great. If baking five desserts drains you, let that go. Delegation isn’t failure; it’s trust. And the energy you reclaim becomes connection; time for a walk, a heartfelt conversation, or a moment to honor grief.

We close with three daily questions that can reset your emotional world in minutes: What am I feeling? What thoughts are driving that feeling? What do I need that’s within my control? These questions become your compass for a season rooted in honesty, boundaries, and love.

If you’re ready to trade obligation for choice and reclaim a lighter December, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in and take your holidays and your relationships back.

Click here to listen to this transformative podcast episode

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