Did you create any New Year’s resolutions this year? If so, how are they going? Researchers say only 19% of New Years resolutions are kept for longer than a month. We may be well into the third month of the year, and your resolutions may be a part of the 81% that have already been forgotten, but the reality is: the year is still new! There is so much time left to make 2023 the year you transform your marriage and use these vital habits to improve your marriage today.
There are 3 principles you can add right now to improve your marriage!
- If you want a great spouse, it all starts with being one! The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all of your other relationships. The biggest problem in my marriage was…me. I realized the way I was with myself: critical, judgmental, shaming, expected perfection, serious, and feeling like everything was my fault, was exactly how I was with my husband. My relationship with myself was directly reflected onto my relationship with my husband. The first step toward creating the marriage I had always dreamt of was focusing on growing me!
- Do you remember what life was like when you were dating your partner? During that season, your relationship was created through playing and chatting! Once we get married, we assume that will easily continue. But life doesn’t work that way. Life is hard work, challenging, and stressful at times. Over time, unresolved conflicts can build up which makes playing and chatting difficult. However, the key to breaking through those barriers is playing and chatting! It can feel scary at first for many couples because they don’t even remember what it’s like to laugh and talk about things outside of their daily schedule. Just 30 minutes a week of both intentional play and chat can transform your marriage! Couples are always shocked at the immediate difference this step makes! Playing and chatting is where connection, joy, and friendship grow.
- No one is born knowing how to be a great partner. Like so many things in life, we must work toward becoming a great partner. We do that through continually learning and growing. In order to improve your marriage, you must always be looking to discover what you don’t know. which can done by adding more tools to your toolbox! There are so many tools available to help walk you, step by step, through the process of growing your marriage into one you’ve always longed for- tools for understanding yourself, tools for how to break through tension in conversation, tools for building authentic trust, tools for making united decisions, tools for how to heal the past and truly forgive, etc. One of the greatest tools is knowing how to have any and every conversation life will bring you. When a couple confidently knows they can talk about anything with their spouse, they feel secure in the relationship! They feel seen and heard, and that Is a powerful feeling!
My husband and I have had two marriages, our first 20 years was a gradual decrease of connection due to unresolved conflict and the last 12 years have been a gradual increase of connection due to consistently resolving conflict as we are consistently implementing and growing these 3 things to help transform and improve our marriage. You can too and I’m here to help!
I know it sometimes feels overwhelming figuring out where to start, but if you are ready to take your marriage to the next level, I have created a 3 part Communication Renovation system course that will walk you through each action step mentioned above (and more!).
You can find more about this course, Marriage Thrive.
You can also check out this video on the Beautiful Outcome Youtube channel where I expand on the 3 steps mentioned above.
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