Do you know the importance of a bedtime routine in a marriage?
Marriage is a journey that spans years, filled with countless shared moments, experiences, and memories. Yet, one often overlooked aspect of a successful marriage is the bedtime routine. It may seem trivial, but if you’re married for 50 years, you’ll have approximately 17,800 opportunities to bring you and your spouse to further closeness by having a bedtime routine. These habits can either strengthen the bond between you and your spouse or slowly erode it. The bedtime routine in a marriage is incredibly important.
Our Bedtime Journey: Jeff and I’s Experiences
My husband Jeff and I have walked through various stages of our marriage of 32 years, each marked by different bedtime habits. In our pre-kids era, we enjoyed our moments together in bed, chatting, reading, and snuggling.
When our babies arrived, exhaustion took the lead, especially for me (Julia) and I was ready for bed a few hours earlier than Jeff and he slept in later than I did. It was a challenging time as our disconnection grew, but we weren’t sure at that point what was causing it.
When we realized that our bedtime routines (or lack thereof) were contributing to our disconnection, we began to make some shifts.
You and your spouse more than likely will have different bedtime routine preferences, and the key to having a shared routine that fosters connection is engaging in conversations about it!
Conversations: The Key to Healthy Bedtime Habits
Our most connecting bedtime habits have always sprung from intentional conversations. On the flip side, our most unhealthy routines emerged when we subconsciously avoided discussing the topic altogether. We discovered that honest intentional conversations were the catalyst for positive change in our bedtime habits and I want to share three steps for these conversations:
- Identifying Wants and Needs: Each of you takes time to get honest about your desires so you can get clear about your wants and needs.
- Share with each other your needs: Set aside time for you both to share and listen to each other’s bedtime routine needs and wants.
- Find Win-Win Solutions: Negotiate ways of honoring both of your wants and create intentional points of connection rather than subconscious disconnecting habits.
To hear more on this topic, I invite you to join me today on my latest YouTube episode. It’s there that I share:
- How opposites attract (anyone an early 🐦 and spouse is a night 🦉?)
- Examples of habits that affect sleep
- Me and Jeff’s sleep habits during different stages of our marriage
- Conversation prompts to help you create your own routine together
The Importance of a Bedtime Routine:
What is a favorite bedtime habit that you and your spouse do? Would you take a moment and share in the comments so we all can learn from each other? Head over to the YouTube episode and I would love to hear from you in the comments!
PS. Seats are officially sold out for April 2024 Breakthrough marriage workshop and there are a few remaining seats left for July. If you want to take advantage of this incredible and POWERFUL weekend away with your spouse, growing in deeper connection with each other, I encourage you act now and lock in your seat. You can view further information on the Breakthrough Retreat Website.
Where to Find Me
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SHOP: Marriage Resources
WEBSITE: Find more resources (couple’s coaching & retreats) at BeautifulOutcome.com
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