Being in a marriage where one (or both!) spouses have low self-esteem really impacts the marriage negatively.
Fifteen years into our marriage, me and my husband were struggling.
He wasn’t pursuing me. He was depressed. He was dealing with addiction.
I was sure he was the problem.
What I couldn’t see was the problem of my low self-esteem and how it was contributing to everything I was seeing as a problem in him.
When a person has low self-esteem they have a sense that they don’t deserve love and they struggle to value their own thoughts, feelings, opinions, interests and goals.
Here are the main symptoms of what that looked like for me:
- Highly critical of myself (flaws were exaggerated)
- “Mistakes” were unacceptable
- Criticized everything I said & beat myself for errors
- Need for continual affirmation
- Achievements were expected and nothing was celebrated
- Thought negatively of nice things like gifts, massages, trips
- Constant comparison to others
- Did whatever everyone else needed of me to get them to like me
- Thought more about what others wanted/needed than myself (couldn’t tell you what I wanted)
- Didn’t trust myself
- Workaholic trying to earn love and validation
- Continually doubted myself
- Couldn’t receive compliments and couldn’t handle feedback
- Eating disorders
- Stressed all the time
- The sky was always falling
The impact of how my low self-esteem was on my marriage was HUGE and for the longest time I could not see it… until one day I did.
Join me on this latest podcast with a special guest of honor, my amazing husband, Jeff, as we share how my low self-esteem affected our relationship, what I did to shift out of low self-esteem, and the positive impact it had on our marriage yielding the following incredible results between us:
- Open & honest conversation
- I could receive feedback which helped me grow
- Openly receive love
- Full of grace and acceptance
I would love to hear from you!