Marriage Growth

The Five Reasons Our Marriage Fell Apart

December 20, 2023

No one goes into marriage expecting it to fall about, yet, 20 years into ours, we separated because the pain between us was too high to stay together. Jeff and I, now married for over three decades, recently opened up in our latest YouTube episode, sharing the five reasons our marriage fell apart. We wanted […]

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No one goes into marriage expecting it to fall about, yet, 20 years into ours, we separated because the pain between us was too high to stay together. Jeff and I, now married for over three decades, recently opened up in our latest YouTube episode, sharing the five reasons our marriage fell apart. We wanted to share these with you so you don’t have to walk through the suffering we did.

The Five Reasons Our Marriage Fell Apart

#1. We Avoided Personal Responsibility:

Jeff and I failed to take personal responsibility for years, focusing instead on each other’s faults. In the YouTube episode, we share how this pattern eroded our connection and how embracing personal responsibility became the cornerstone of rebuilding our connection and partnership.

#2. We Blamed Each Other:

We discuss the destructive nature of blame, sharing personal experiences of resentment. Our journey highlights the importance of self-reflection and owning our part in our conflicts and tensions.

#3. We Did Not Reconcile Conflict:

Conflict is inevitable, but how we handle it matters. We discuss our tendency to avoid reconciling conflicts, how it led to unresolved issues, and the importance of staying engaged and actively listening to foster understanding.

#4. We Did Not Prioritize Each Other:

Life’s busyness often took precedence, causing us to neglect our relationship. We share how prioritizing personal interests over each other’s needs contributed to our bitterness.

#5. We Took Our Marriage For Granted:

I thought our wedding rings and marriage vows would always keep us connected, but that was not the case. We began to take each other’s love and our connection for granted, and this eventually led to the beginning of an affair. This was a huge wake-up call for us and was the catalyst for us to get honest with the state of our marriage and what we each contributed to it.

Our story is not just a cautionary tale; it’s a testament to the commitment and determination of both of us being willing to do whatever it takes to grow the marriage we longed for. Three decades into our marriage, it’s night and day different than the early years. Each day, we get to wake up and choose each other. 

If you want to hear us talk about this more and share personal stories, I invite you to watch the YouTube episode

When you hear the 5 reasons our marriage fell apart, do you see any of these in your marriage? The first step to creating something new is acknowledging what you don’t want. Would you share in the channel comments what you recognize you are doing in your marriage that you want to change? 

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I'm Julia, your new relationship bestie.

I am passionate about helping couples communicate their way to a great relationship. Because when they can communicate in a way where both partners feel seen and heard they can literally overcome any challenge in life together.

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hey there!

Helping couples communicate and grow from good relationships to great ones.

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